You're alone in that sin: A lie from the devil!

You’re alone: one of the biggest lies by which the devil uses to keep us entangled in sin and deep in shame.

Would anyone understand if I confessed?

Why would I confess when everyone would just think less of me?

Lies, lies and more lies: I was not alone!

For over two years I believed that lie.

For over two years I walked in hidden sin.

For over two years no one knew who I truly was.

On the outside I put up a front. On the inside I was rotting, decaying and falling apart.

Yes, I professed to be a believer when I was 7.

Yes, I knew all the right answers.

Yes, I was known as a “godly” leader amongst my peers.

But, I was the only one who truly knew what was going on inside of me.

It was depressing and lonely.

And each time I clicked that link or deleted that web history, I felt emptier.

I felt as if I was alone.

That no one would understand.

That I would be thought of as less.

Lies, lies, and more lies: I was not alone!

I couldn’t take it anymore.

I knew I couldn’t keep living two separate lives.

I was no longer clicking on that link because of desire or want. It was a habit.

A habit that I had did not want anymore.

But my pride was still getting in the way.

One morning, I decided to push that pride to the side.

I decided to not believe the lies of the devil.

But to believe the promises of God’s Word.

1 Peter 3:18, “For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that He might bring us to God. Being put to death in the flesh, but made alive in the Spirit.”

Christ suffered once for my sins.

The sins that I keep giving into were the reason Jesus CHOSE to die for me.

The sinless creator of the world died for my sinful soul.

Each click, each lustful thought or action that I gave into were the reasons Jesus was spit upon, mocked, whipped and crucified.

Instead of thanking Jesus, I was turning my back on him.

Instead of thanking Jesus, I was saying I know better than the sustainer of the universe.

When I confessed my sins, all the lies of Satan were proved wrong.

I wasn’t alone.

The only one that was alone was Jesus as hung upon the cross.

The only one that was alone was Jesus as he endured the wrath for all of my lust, pride and lies.

I wasn’t condemned or looked down upon.

I was lifted up and encouraged by brothers and sisters.

I was surrounded by people who were struggling and fighting the same temptations of the world that I faced.

I wasn’t alone.

Satan wants to make us think we’re alone.

Satan wants to make us think no one will understand.

But they are lies: You are not alone!

In reality, it’s quite the opposite.

The devil uses the same tricks and the same snares to entice all human beings.

No human being is alone.

Don’t believe that lie anymore.

“No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man…” (1 Corinthians 10:13)

“If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth…But…if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:6,9)

Will you hold back when Jesus calls?

Today I began David Platt's new book, "Follow me: A call to die. A call to live." I've already been encouraged after the intro and first chapter and highly recommend it. During the first chapter Platt quotes Oswald Chamber's from his devotional "My Utmost for His Highest."  It challenged me and provoked me that I just had to share it here. Read the following, and I pray it encourages you to live the life God is calling you to live:

"Suppose God tells you to do something that is an enormous test of your common sense, totally going against it. What will you do? Will you hold back? If you get into the habit of doing something physically, you will do it every time you are tested until you break the habit through sheer determination.  And the same is true spiritually, Again and again you will come right up to what Jesus wants, but every time you will turn back at the true point of testing, until you are determined to abandon yourself to God in total surrender….

Jesus Christ demands the same unrestrained, adventurous spirit in those who have placed their trust in Him….If a person is ever going to do anything worthwhile, there will be times when he must risk everything by his leap in the dark.  In the spiritual realm, Jesus Christ demands that you risk everything you hold on to or believe through common sense, and leap by faith into what He says.  Once you obey, you will immediately find that what He says is as solidly consistent as common sense.

By the test of common sense, Jesus Christ’s statements may seem mad, but when you test them by the trial of faith, your finding will fill your spirit with the awesome fact that they are the very words of God. Trust completely in God, and when He brings you to a new opportunity of adventure, offering it to you, see that you take it.  We act like pagans in a crisis—only one out of an entire crowd is daring enough to invest his faith in the character of God."

My Top Ten Books of 2012

I just wanted to share briefly what books have challenged, encouraged me and taught me the most this past year. I'd encourage you to pick up any one of these books and be encouraged in your walk with him. I've included a paragraph after each title to share a little about what the book is about and why I loved it. Also included is a link to Amazon where you can purchase the book. I pray that you would be encouraged by these books for they have certainly challenged me immensely in my walk this past year!

1. Gospel Wakefulness - Jared Wilson
I think the reason this book hit home with me so much is that I saw myself throughout the pages. There were countless testimonies that pointed to Jesus and the work of the Holy Spirit in people's lives. Jared Wilson talks a lot about how we are often not awake to the true depth of the gospel. A lot of times it takes someone hitting rock bottom in a sin or in a trial to fully grasp what Jesus did for you on the cross.  I've given this book out countless times and recommend every believer get a copy of this book and read it!

2. Kisses from Katie - Katie Davis
This was one of those books that I just couldn't put down. Katie's example of faith and willingness to follow Jesus no matter what was the main reason. Katie's selflessness and desire to help the neediest of people will challenge, convict and change the way you live life. Buy it, read it and emulate her example where you live!

3. Gospel Centered Discipleship - Jonathon Dodson
I've read this book twice in the last 12 months. The first chapter opens up with talking about how we often as believers we separate evangelism and discipleship. Jonathon does a great job explaining how believers should not only be looking to be discipled but also be seeking to discipling others, but as we do this we must always have the gospel central. Definitely worth your time to read.

4. Reckless Abandon - David Sitton
This book is another story of a missionary who worked in the unreached people groups of Papa New Guinea. David Sitton writes about his time there and how God moved and saved many people through the work of a few missionaries who obeyed Jesus words to "go and make disciples of all nations." If you like a book that will challenge you to reconsider the way you are living your life currently, this is a book that will do it!

5. One to One Bible Reading - David Helm
This is a short book that I read in two sittings. But it really helped me think through how to sit down one on one with another individual and study God's Word. It talks about sitting down with a non-believer, newer believer and a person who has been saved for a long time. This book has helped me immensely in the ministry that I've been doing in the public high schools!

6. When Helping Hurts - Brian Fikkert and Steve Corbett
Two professors at Covenant College came together to write about how churches and believers often have good intent in helping the poor and those in need. But in reality, we are doing more harm then we are doing good. They do an excellent job in bringing clarity in what truly is helping those in need and what the best way to come alongside them is!

7. Jumping Through Fires - David Nasser
I read this book in one night. David is now a pastor in Birmingham, Alabama but in this book he shares the story of his life. He shares how his family had to flee from Iran and how they finally came to live in America.  It's a powerful story of how God changed and saved the hearts of an entire devoted Iranian Islamic family.

8. Radical - David Platt
This is one of my favorite books of all time and a yearly read for me. I had the privilege of leading a group of teens through this in a 4-week book study. Not only did I see God use it to challenge the high school students who were reading it, I was freshly challenged again as I read through the pages for a 5th time. One review says that Platt shows, "God is in it for God’s glory, and we are given God’s grace so that we can multiply his image throughout the rest of the world. We are here to extend God’s glory, not simply enjoy the material rewards of grace and blessing."

9. The Cross and Christian Ministry - D.A. Carson
A book that was written a while ago. This was the first book I read in 2012 and was freshly provoked by the way Carson takes the first 4 chapters of 1 Corinthians and shares 9 key leadership lessons for ministry. While its directed towards leaders, Carson writes with every believer in mind. He reminds us that the cross of Christ must stay central in preaching and in Christianity as it is the transforming power from spiritual death to life, and Christian immaturity to maturity.

10. (2013) The Insanity of God - Nik Ripken
As I battled what to put for my tenth and final book, I couldn't get this book off my mind. Although it did come out this month in the year 2013, I decided to cheat a little and put it on this list. This book contains countless stories of persecuted Christians around the world. Nik Ripken (not his real name) worked in Somaliland for 6 years before having to pull out because of the war. As the back of the book says, "The ashes of Somalia led the Ripkens to travel around the world to listen to the stories of more than six hundred believers in over sixty countries." The stories in this book at times moved me to tears, but most of the time to praising God for his power amidst persecution. Buy this book, read this book, be challenged by this book and let God transform your heart to follow Him like these persecuted Christians.

Living Wholeheartedly Today

A friend of mine sent me this quote by Charles Spurgeon yesterday, "We have no other time in which to live.  The past is gone; the future has not arrived; we never shall have any time but time present. Endeavour now to bring forth fruit. Serve God now. Do not fritter away your life in thinking of what you intend to do tomorrow as if that could recompense for the idleness of today. No man ever served God by doing things tomorrow. If we honour Christ and are blessed, it is by the thing which we do today. Do not give Christ a little slurred labour; but when you do serve Him, do it with heart, and soul, and strength."

It's so easy for me to think of the future, to think of what I want to do down the road. I so often desire to be in the future rather then in the present, but then I remember I'm exactly where I wished I was 2 years ago. I'm in the future of my past and now I'm wishing for something else.

I don't want this to be true of me anymore. I want to live today serving God wholeheartedly where I am. I don't want to look back in a year or two and be thinking of time that I wasted. Time that I frittered away thinking of the future. Let us us honor Christ in all that we do today and at this very moment. Let us serve God today with our whole heart, our whole soul and all the strength we can muster! Let's go to bed tonight tired from serving God wholeheartedly today.

Tempted to Complain? (Two truths to remember)

This morning, I awoke to a calm after a storm. Hurricane Sandy came through Maryland last night and did some damage. Not as much as expected, but still caused some inconveniences such as roads being closed, basements being flooded, power outages, lack of sleep.

After about 5 hours of sleep and a shower, I headed out to the local Starbucks to start prepping for two bible studies I will be leading in the next two days. So after I got my cup of coffee, I opened up my bible to Philippians 2. 

Verse 14, “Do all things without grumbling or questioning,”

It was like a slap to my face, like a bucket of ice cold water being dumped on my head. I have constantly been tempted the last few months to grumble/complain about or question my circumstances. And not only have I been tempted, but I have been complaining and questioning my circumstances. Then last night happened, and I got minimal sleep and spent hours making making sure two basements didn’t flood. I complained this morning in my heart and started complaining even more this afternoon as I sat down in Starbucks trying to work and study without my eyes shutting. But then I read this verse and took a punch to the gut. I have no place to complain or grumble at all. Ever.

I have every reason to be happy, content and satisfied in my dear Lord this morning. And even though there are some inconveniences here and there. I’d still have every reason to be happy, content and satisfied in the Lord this morning.  There is a single truth that cannot change about me: I am a Son of God and this does not change based on how I feel or change because of circumstances. I am a Son of God because my faith is in Jesus’ life, death and resurrection.

Philippians 2:5-8, “Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.  And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.”

This is the reason we are to do everything without grumbling or complaining. . If Jesus didn’t grumble and complain about becoming a man and dying a death he didn’t deserve. Then I have no right to question or complain about anything.

Although this is the primary reason, Paul also gives us another reason to do everything without grumbling or questioning. Verses 14-15 together say, “Do all things without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world.”

We live in a crooked and twisted generation. And when we grumble or complain, we are just going with the flow of this world. Let us shine as lights in the world.

So, today, tomorrow and the every day to follow let us remember these two truths no matter your circumstance and no matter how you feel:

Remember the truth of the gospel.  

Remember we are representing Jesus Christ. 

Let us fight to live in a way that we can say what Paul did in 1 Corinthians 11:1, "Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ."

Can Someone Be a Believer and Not Read God's Word?

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A few years ago, I went through a period of really doubting God and my faith. I had a lot of questions about what I believed. One of the biggest ones was: How do I know the Bible is reliable and real?

I’ve included a few resources on the bottom of this post that were very helpful to me in helping me gain a understanding and trust in God’s Word. But to be honest, the biggest way I’ve gained faith in God’s Word is by diving into it and studying it for myself! I remember two years ago, I hardly had any desire or hunger for God’s Word. I’d grown up reading it, but I did this more out of duty and because my parents told me too.

Two years ago, when I started walking in the light (See my last post), I was a part of a small group led by a man with a passion and knowledge of God’s Word that I so desperately wanted. Tonight as I write this, I can say with 100% honesty that God has been faithful in giving me that passion for His Word.

The other night in a small group I was leading, one of the guys in my group asked the following question, “Can a person be a believer and not read God’s Word?”  

This of course started a pretty long conversation with a lot of thoughts that were thrown out. But I truly believe this question can be answered by realizing who we have become when we place our faith in Christ's death and resurrection. If God has cleansed us with Jesus’ blood, if we are living in the good of what He has done for us, we are going to have some type of desire for God’s Word. Even when I didn’t have a complete hunger, desire and awe for God’s Word, I knew that God’s Word was written for my good and I recognized that I needed it more.

Ezekiel 36:25-27 says, “I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you shall be clean from all your uncleannesses, and from all your idols I will cleanse you.  And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.  And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules.”(ESV)

When this was written, it was a promise of what was to come. It was a foreshadowing of when Jesus was going to die on the cross and atone for our sins. It's saying when we put our faith in the blood of Jesus, we are then cleansed. Then look at what it says God will do, “I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.” You literally are getting a new heart at conversion. This new heart knows what is from God and has discernment as to what is from the world. Not only do we receive a new heart, we now have a new spirit that causes us to walk in God’s ways. So to answer the question, “Can we a believer and not read God’s Word?”

Yes and no. Yes, if you have no access to it. A lot of believers don’t have God’s Word in their languages, but they would give a lot to get it. But no, if you do have access to it. Because you are going to have some sort of desire for it. You may not have a deep burning passion to study it for hours each day, but you’ve been given a new heart.  Therefore you know that the Word of God is one of the biggest means for you as a believer to know Him.

I want to challenge you. Don’t take God’s Word for granted. Most of us have 5 copies in 5 different translations on our shelves and read it because it’s what a believer is suppose to do. That's what I did for a long time. When I saw my small group leader’s passion and desire for God’s Word and was jealous of it. I started praying every morning for that same kind of passion and desire. I cried out to Him every morning to give me a hunger, to show me new things, to make me fall in love with His Word. And after about two weeks of doing this every morning, God answered that prayer. The last two years, God has taught me so much through His Word and I can’t go a day without opening it and God revealing Himself to me.

If you currently have no desire or hunger for God’s Word, if you currently look at it as a check box on your daily list of things to do. Stop for a second and consider what you are holding in your hands. It is the Word of God. God has revealed himself to us and we now have access to growing in our understanding and knowledge of Him.

I think the most important thing we need to understand is that the Word of God is one of the most vital ways for us as believers to deepen our relationship with God. It is the key for us as believers to be able to understand how God has called us to live in this life. It is the way we as believers can understand and gain a greater image of just how great the God we really are serving. Dive into God’s Word and find satisfaction that is not found in this world.

A couple resources that have served me immensely in doubting God's Word a couple years ago:

1) “The New Testament Documents: Are They Reliable?” by F.F. Bruce.

http://www.amazon.com/The-New-Testament-Documents-Reliable/dp/0802822193/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1348004806&sr=8-1&keywords=are+the+new+testament+documents+reliable

2) MP3 “Can We Trust Our Bibles?” by Peter Williams

http://sgm.edgeboss.net/download/sgm/next/2011/next2011.s3-williams.mp3

Pornography: Addiction? (My Testimony of God's Power)

Note: I talk about how God  helped me overcome an addiction to pornography. But the reality is, you can substitute any sin you struggle with into this story. Pornography is something that affects so many in my generation, but if it's another sin for you, I just want you to see the power of Christ. Any battle with sin is able to be won through Jesus' death and resurrection. It’s not a lost battle, don’t give up, press on!

I grew up in church. My dad became a pastor the year I was born and I was homeschooled through my sophomore year in high school. In my junior year I started going to a private school in the basement of my church.

I always put on a good front and looked like I was doing well. But inside, there was always a deep shame. I went through all the hand motions, raised my hands in worship, read my bible for 5-10 minutes in the morning, went to church every Sunday. But never really had a deep passion or love for God.

During my 10^th grade year of high school, I broke my femur bone into 3 pieces. During that crisis I learned what it truly meant to cry out to God in a time of need. But once I recovered and got back to hanging with my friends, God once again fell to the background and I was back to the hand motions.

During my junior year I started deceiving my parents on a consistent basis. I was constantly lying to them. Not only that, in the middle of that year I got addicted to pornography. I was entrenched, I couldn’t get out and it became a habit for the next 2-3 years. I didn’t let anyone know, I constantly was living in a deep inward shame, and I was believing two lies:

1) “I’m the only guy around here that struggles with this sin.”

2) “My parents, pastors and friends are all going to look down on me for this sin.”

Let me just say, those are both the complete opposite of the truth and pretty stupid looking back. First, no matter what sin you are currently fighting; you are not the only one struggling with it. This is very clear in 1 Corinthians 10:13, “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man.”(ESV)

Secondly if your parents, pastors and friends are disciples of Christ, they will respect you for confessing. Because you are following God’s commands to walk in the light. 1 John 1:7, “But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.”(ESV)

About 2 years ago after my freshman year in college, I confessed all my sins to my dad and good friend. The inward shame that I had been experiencing for so long was immediately lifted. I was now obeying what God has called me to as a disciple of Christ. It definitely wasn't easy to confess and wasn't an easy path to overcome. But there was freedom in confessing and having other people know your darkness. It hasn’t been a perfect road since I confessed  2 years ago. The temptation doesn’t immediately stop. (If it does for you, teach me your ways!) But God’s grace is there. If I'm struggling with lust in any way I now have my go to friends that I can call up. They point me back to the truth about God and His Word.

The same month of my confession, I asked the Lord to give me a hunger and thirst for His Word and help me to understand what He is calling me to as His disciple. God has been so faithful to answer that prayer! Each day, His Word becomes sweeter and sweeter and he shows me new things about himself and about myself. It takes a constant feeding of God’s Word and prayer to be able to fight sin.

I want to share with you just a few verses that God has used to help me fight this sin of lust.

1 Peter 3:18, “For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive in the Spirit.”

What hit me here were these three words, “Christ also suffered.” What? Why would Christ suffer for me? Didn’t he create me? Why would he want to bring this filthy sinner to Him? And this is when I really wanted to know who Jesus really was. I wanted to find scriptures that told me about Him. So I opened up to another passage and it was Colossians 1. Read this,

Colossians 1:15-20, “He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him. And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent. For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross.” (ESV)

So Jesus is the creator of this world. And he came down here to die for my sins. I had always known that, but Colossians hit me in a fresh way. I wanted to understand even more, and that’s when God took me to Revelations 4 and 5. We get a glimpse of the type of worship that Jesus was encountering on a eternal basis from the angels and seraphim.

-“Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was and is and is to come!” (4:8)

-“Worthy are you, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they existed and were created.” (4:11)

-“To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be blessing and honor and glory and might forever and ever!” (5:9)

Jesus was being worshiped 24/7 by the angels, seraphims and heavenly beings and he left that worship to come down amongst sinful man. This also hit me in a new way, why would he do that? It's simple yet not humanly comprehensible, it's because of his grace and love. 

I went back to 1 Peter and read the verse again and now the last sentence hit me when I read we are not only put to death in the flesh, but made alive in the Spirit. What? So I how could I stop looking at these pornographic images? How could I fight my lustful desires. Because I am a new creation through faith in the death and Resurrection of Jesus and now am able to fight sin with the Power of the Holy Spirit..

Romans 8:11, “If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you.”

The same Spirit that raised Jesus Christ from the dead is the same Spirit that helped me overcome this addiction and sin. And is the same Spirit that wants to help you overcome the sin that you are currently fighting on a daily basis.

The last passage of scripture that hit me hard was Colossians 3. Because it’s not only clear that we are new creations and therefore must put off the old self and put on the new self. It tells us why. The last 3 words of verse 15 says, “And be thankful.” This is why we seek to kill our sin and fight it. Not because it earns our salvation, but because we realize just how much Jesus went through to die on that cross for our sins. It’s out of gratefulness in my heart for what Jesus went through for me that I’m seeking to kill this lustful sin on a daily basis. It’s out of gratefulness in my heart for what Jesus did on the cross for me that I’m seeking to live a life of speech and conduct in a way that honors God. 

When we are constantly giving into sin of any kind and not trying to fight it. We are making a statement that we are not grateful for what Jesus did on the cross. We'd rather have this momentary pleasure then having eternal pleasure in Jesus.

I have a lot more I could say and share, but right now have the absolute privilege to work in the public schools. One of the highlights for me is getting to lead a weekly bible study where we just study the truth of scripture and come together. Not only have multiple guys come to me struggling with pornography. I’ve had multiple girls struggling with the same thing. God wants to give freedom to you today if you are battling any hidden sin. He wants you to experience the grace that he offers. I want each person who daily bears the burden of hidden sin to experience the joy and hope I’ve experienced from opening up my life to others. God will bless you immensely with a new hope and joy that you have not experienced in a while. Earlier I shared 1 John 1:7. Two verses later in verse 9 it says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”  (ESV)

Come find forgiveness and cleansing in the blood of Jesus!